Review of Matt

Despite the fact that I initially met Matt at the age of 18, we did not really hang out until we were 21. So, for the span of three years, Matt was simply a kid who I would punch in the stomach at parties as a means of coping with the fact that he is much taller than I.

Now that I have gotten to know him much better, I feel as if I am properly equipped to review his character. To aid in clarity, I will list both strong and weak points below.

Strengths:

1. Nice hair -- It has good body and smells like coconut. I think he uses Aussie hair products.
2. Genuinely funny -- We have very similar senses of humor. The one problem is that we tend to exclude ourselves from others at parties with our constant stream of inside jokes and references to obscure movies.
3. He buys me dinner from time to time.
4. Very clean -- I was tempted to make this a negative because he makes me feel bad about myself, but then I realized that I shouldn't penalize him for my own failing.
5. He once wrote a short story about me having oars instead of arms.

Weaknesses:

1. Once got angry with me for not wanting to see Beowulf.
2. Does not enjoy Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
3. Can not stand bathroom humor -- I'm not sure if this is my weakness or his, but if you ever want to annoy Matt, make sure you make a few poo jokes.